Dark Type Pokémon, or The Fall of the God of Psychic

Oh, Sabrina. You remember Sabrina, leader of Saffron City's gym: the unassuming little girl who uses Psychic-type Pokémon. At this point in the game, you haven't fought very many of those, but if you were smart, you picked up an Abra early on. By now, you should have a faithful Kadabra (or Alakazam, if your parents loved you enough to buy you a Game Boy cable. Mine didn't.) by your side, kicking the ass of Machokes left and right. Knowing this, you can probably guess that Sabrina will be tough to beat.

Pokémon is like an ultra-complex game of rock-paper-scissors. Everything is strong against something, and weak to something else. So what is Psychic weak to? Bug and Ghost. Great! I picked up this Gastly in Lavender Town. And hey, in the anime, Ash beat Sabrina with nothing but a Haunter, so all I have to do is get this thing up to level 25 and I'm set!

My ticket to victory.

Aaaand then you get to the gym and realize that something the anime neglected to mention about Haunter is that it is a dual-type Pokémon: Ghost AND Poison, which makes it horribly weak to Psychic attacks. Oh, and it only has two Ghost moves: Lick (crap) and Nightshade (double crap.) One blast from Psybeam and Haunter is KO'd before he even gets a chance to whip out his tongue. Your ass: instantly kicked.

Your many painful defeats at the Saffron City gym left you with a bitter taste in your mouth and an important lesson: the Pokémon world is set up with a system of checks and balances, but Psychic-type rules all. Better start leveling up that Blastoise.

Obviously this all changed with the "discovery" of Dark-type Pokémon in Gold and Silver. Now there are good, powerful moves that are super effective against Psychic-types, AND Dark-type Pokémon are completely immune to all Psychic attacks.

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW

Gold and Silver also tempered out Psychic a bit with the addition of the Steel-type, which is resistant (but not immune) to Psychic-moves, as well as the addition of pure Ghost-types and more powerful Bug moves. From Generation 2 onward, Psychic-types were demoted from terrifying demigods to impotent, sorry bastards who can be obliterated by a fucking firefly.

My problem is that I still have PSYCHIC=KILL EVERYTHING deeply ingrained into my head. I still think "Bite" is a Normal move. Then I encounter a level 16 Poochyena, and half my team is writhing on the floor in agony. I realise that the game needed to be more balanced, and that the advent of Dark and Steel also meant that Fighting-types stopped being so utterly useless, but I still remember the good old days when all I had to do was feed Rare Candy and PP Ups to my Kadabra and the Pokémon League Championship was mine for the taking.

Side note: There's a lot of talk in the Pokémon fan community about the possibility of a Light-type to counter the Dark-type. I thought it was fairly obvious that Dark-type is the counter to Psychic-type, but this would imply* that Psychic-type were somehow "good", which contradicts my assumption that Psychic-type Pokémon like Alakazam and especially Mr. Mime are inherently evil.

*Not necessarily, I suppose. It may be a case of evil versus more evil.

Links:
The Top 5 Dark Type Pokémon
Pokemon Season 1 Box Set - Indigo League
Pokemon HeartGold
Pokemon SoulSilver

Cool, Refreshing Drinks

Fresh Water, Soda Pop, Lemonade...what is it about these items that we love so much? They are cheaper than their equivalent potions, raise your Pokémon's happiness, and come in cute little bottles. But they are a tad more mysterious than their friendly exterior betrays.

I dunno what it is, I just know I <3 it.

When Gold & Silver first came out, I bought the Japanese versions. The vending machine drinks in Japanese are おいしいみず (Fresh Water, translates to "Delicious Water"), サイコソーダ (Soda Pop, translates to "Awesome Soda"—the bottle depicted is the common Japanese soda Ramune, also known as Blue Soda), and ミックスオレ (Lemonade, transliterates as "Mix Ore"). I remember being totally confused as to just what the hell "Mix Ore" was. Say "ore" out loud, and it sounds like "Olé!" I was fairly sure that "Mix Olé!" wasn't a kind of drink, but you never know with Japan. It wasn't until 8 years later that I was working for a Japanese tea company and saw those same kana (オレ) on a package of "Thé au Lait". Turns out that "O-Re" is the Japanese transliteration of the French phrase "with milk". So, Mix Ore is actually Mix au Lait, a mixed fruit-flavored milk soft drink. Milk-based soft drinks are relatively common vending machine products in good old Nippon.

Now, the main complaint with the vending machine items is it takes forever to buy them. You have to scroll through unnecessary textual representations of sound effects, celebrate upon obtaining it, and put it away in your bag. And then you get one (1) can. Repeat x times. All to save a few PokéDollars.

It was my boyfriend who discovered the little store atop Mt. Moon in HGSS (only open during the daytime) that sells drinks in an adjustable quantity. This after I asserted, over and over again, that there was NO way to buy more than one at a time, and yes, you'll just have to sit there mashing the A button for 20 minutes. Damn. The student has become the master. I humbly relinquish my gym badges and Pokémon bedsheets to...hey, wait a minute. He wouldn't have even KNOWN to go up to the top of Mt. Moon if I hadn't told him about it. Ergo, I still wear the PokéPants in this relationship.

Do you have Pikachu in a can?

Oh yeah, and at the Pokémon Center in Tokyo, you can buy actual cans of Pokémon soda and mix au lait (along with bottled water and tea, which is a key item in FRLG.) WANT!